Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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