How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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