Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
