Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
