Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
