I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I sprained my soul last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
