I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
