one two three fourrrrnication!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
