he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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