then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
