people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
not ubering you a puppy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
