Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
