i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
