so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
