As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
