I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
