SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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