I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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