how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
