if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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