Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
