I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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