we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
