Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
