Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize