At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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