the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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