a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
