Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
