Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
