People with herpes should wear stickers.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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