Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
