I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize