party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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