just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
