Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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