he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
