WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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