I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
