Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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