I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
