Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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