Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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