Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
