just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
