Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
