Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize