If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
