I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
