so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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