I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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