And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
