Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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