I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The air was thick with penises
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
