I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
