I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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