Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am spending my child support on dildos
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need water and some morals
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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