There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize