I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
